Randall Munson Presents
Actual Church Bulletin Announcements
Excerpt from Randall's Personal Humor File
- Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.
- Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
- The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
- Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, 'Put Me In My Little Bed', accompanied by the Pastor.
- Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
- This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mr. Vassilas to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
- The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.
- Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
- At the evening service tonight, The sermon topic will be, 'What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- The 1991 Spring Council retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
- Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.
- Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
- Mrs. Jones will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
- The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
- Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
- The low self esteem help group will meet Thursday at 7:00. Please use the back door.
- Scouts are saving Aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
If you liked this, you'll love The Serious Business of HUMOR! You will experience the magic of laughter.
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