Randall Munson Presents
Newspaper Headlines
Excerpt from Randall's Personal Humor File

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.

Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted.

Drunk gets nine months in violin case.

Survivor of siamese twins joins parents.

Farmer Bill dies in house.

Iraqi head seeks arms.

Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

Stud tires out.

Prostitutes appeal to Pope.

Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over.

Soviet virgin lands short of goal again.

British left waffles on Falkland Islands.

Lung cancer in women mushrooms.

Eye drops off shelf.

Teacher strikes idle kids.

Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead.

Squad helps dog bite victim.

Shot off woman's leg helps nicklaus to 66.

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax.

Plane too close to ground, crash probe told.

Miners refuse to work after death.

Juvenile court to try shooting defendant.

Stolen painting found by tree.

Two soviet ships collide, one dies.

2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter.

Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years.

Never withhold herpes infection from loved one.

Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84.

War dims hope for peace.

If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while.

Cold wave linked to temperatures.

Man is fatally slain.

Enfiels couple slain; Police suspect homicide.

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says.

Dirty air caused by dirt in air

Researchers suggest weight loss most helpful for those overweight

Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995

Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us
Holland Sentinal, date unknown.

Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
The New York Times, November 22

Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
The Los Angeles Times, November 2

'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories
Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30

Alcohol ads promote drinking
The Hartford Courant, November 18

Malls try to attract shoppers
The Baltimore Sun, October 22

Official: Only rain will cure drought
The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts

Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
The Sunday Oregonian, September 24

Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
Newsday, July 11

Man shoots neighbor with machete
The Miami Herald, July 3

Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes
The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30

Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows
The New York Times, March 10

Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies
The Los Angeles Times, March 2

Scientists see quakes in L.A. future
The Oregonian, January 28

Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning
The Buffalo News, February 26

Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold
Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26

Bible church's focus is the Bible
Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994

Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity
The Chicago Tribune, March 5

Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
Journal of Commerce, April 20

Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person
The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2

Lack of brains hinders research
The Columbus Dispatch, April 16

How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart
Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5

Fish lurk in streams
Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29

Tick-borne illness known to infect dogs found in humans
CNN Headline News, July 19, 1999

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